, 
"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
- A light from the shadows shall spring;
- Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
- The crownless again shall be king." TOLKIEN
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Corey and I set out to go get a salad for dinner and came back with this tattoo, much to my families chagrin. I've spent countless hours planning and traveling this beautiful planet, and although cliché, I do consider myself a wanderer. A nomad of sorts; not of homes but of places and feelings. My brother works with the rich and classy. He serves them with a passion and a desire that I would resent if I were in his shoes, yet I admire him for finding his calling. He is so dang good at his job, yet I sit at my desk every day feeling shackled to a set of time tables and bratty customers, with an itch to do more.
My mom thinks my calling is to be a mother, my boss thinks it is to be "nicer" version of himself, and personally I have no earthly clue what my "more" is. I got the tattoo for a few different reasons. I love adventure, and I have a deep rooted passion in travel, but I really got the tattoo because I am both wandering and lost, and although they are different, they are the same.
I am not lost in my ideals. I am not lost in my desires or my abilities. Society might think otherwise, but I am not lost even if I live in a van selling watermelon and dream catchers to passers by. I am not lost. I am wandering. I am wandering a beautiful planet. I am wandering my path, but I am not lost. My purpose is not a yellow brick road, but a set of events that creates a journey; all ending with a specific purpose. I am not lost if I wander off my path, because I choose the road less traveled and make it my path.
Yet, I am also lost...or was. I sat in church on Sunday, thanking God for a beautiful day. Buzzy (my grandma) finally saw my tattoo that morning so it was on my mind and I remember praying and hearing God say, "do not wander from Me anymore." Yikes! I have spent all this time defending a tattoo because I am a traveler, and yet here I was wandering away from the God that made it all. In that moment I knew I was not physically or emotionally lost, but I was for a small period of time, lost spiritually. Wandering the globe is one thing, but wandering from the God that knows my path is another. My faith has strengthened me but not grounded me, and for that I am grateful.
I do not know my path on this earth, and I do not need to. I am not lost in that regard. I know that my path is wild-as wild as a sun-kissed bed of wildflowers. Free to choose between countries and cities, people and animals, yet secure enough to know that I may wander the globe, but I will not wander from my Savior.
I am a wanderer because I am free, and I am free because I have chosen to not be lost.
I am wandering, but I am not lost.
