Most of you know that my parents came to Thailand this week and let me tell you it was somethin' else. While they are technically here (leaving in a few short hours) I find myself perplexed but intrigued by their departure.
If you know me at all you know I am a huge family person. My family are my people and I would do anything for them. If you know me then you also know that I am stubborn as a mule and don't particularly like being told what to do. SOOOO enter my family in Thailand, and here comes the questions and the lectures and the "Sarah do this, Sarah do that." Not quite a shock when it comes to me and my family, and while this drove me up a wall (as I suppose it always will) I have come to the conclusion that I really really missed it. I mean I didn't necessarily know it when I rolled my eyes at my mom or say "okay Dad I get it" but now that they are leaving it makes me realize how truly lucky I am; how blessed I truly am.
I have had people tell me how spoiled I am and I deny that 100%. I am blessed.
I am blessed to have a brother that spent his birthday in airports to come to see me and have an adventure. I am blessed to have a father who spent fathers day with me being stressed, and I am blessed at having a mom that wants to sit up and talk to me all night long, even if she is kind of nosy (I guess that is where I get it from) because her nosy isn't really nosy, it's caring! I have a wonderful family and I am so grateful to have them as a part of my life and to have them come visit me so far away.
ANNNNDDDDD now that the the sappy stuff is over lets talk about the funny stuff.
First of all America and Thailand are very different in so many cases, and my family witnessed it first hand.
My mom had a hard time getting over the smells, and trust me some of them are VERY hard to get over. Think the worst smell you have ever smelled and then double it.
My dad spent the week dealing with the humidity and how much you sweat whenever you go outside, because boy oh boy is it humid. The moment you walk outside you are instantly drenched in sweat.
My brother (and I) potentially got mites from riding the elephant and got a first hand account of what it would be like to be in a freak show performance. Jimmy is 6'2-6'3 ish and when we took my family around my school he got stares from everyone. The girls loved him and said how handsome he was (and some of the boys too!) and the guys all wanted to play basketball with him.
Weirdest of all though was when I took them to a hostel and they decided they wanted a resort. Here you can get a 4 star hotel room overlooking the beach in a swanky hotel for about $55. That seems like a great deal to a farang (foreigner) but to me, living here, holy moly I was living like a superstar. My drink at the hotel cost more Baht then about 4 meals that I have been eating. I actually took a bath (in a real bathtub) in 2 months- AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BUBBLE BATHS! I had a cheeseburger with real beef and I swear I think I felt a tear of joy drop.
It was crazy!
It is amazing to me how some things change in the blink of an eye but some always stay the same. My parents still give me boy advice, and my brother still thinks he is cooler than me. However, now I miss it. I wondered if I would really change that much while I am here and I didn't think I had, but having my family visit made me realize how much I had and I am okay with that, because it has made me become an adult. It has made me recognize how much my parents and brother mean to me ( I always knew it, but living 25 hours away really changes that) and it made me realize that no matter how far away I go I will always have the support of my family, because I am so so blessed.
Having my family say they are proud of me for doing this isn't a testament to me, but truly a testament to them, because it is through them I get my strength, and my stubborn will power to finish things through, and this is one thing that I am looking forward to experiencing until the very last minute!
Friday, June 26, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
From "Sentimental" Pack Rat to Minimalist
I love my stuff, I won't deny it.
I love my teddy bears that I have had since Seth Sawyer and Nick McGinness gave them to me as get well presents for my back surgery in 9th grade.
I love the random decorations and pictures and books that I can't get rid of.
What can I say, I am sentimental.
However, being here in Thailand has taught me a bit about material possessions. I came here with one large suitcase to get me through 5 months. I had no room decorations, no special comforter (which hurt my feelings to leave at home), no feather pillows or a million movies, and SHOCKER, I am doing just fine.
Granted, I still have internet (most days), and a book to read, but as a whole I have learned that I do not need much to have a happy life. I have learned to line dance, I work out every day, am trying new recipes, found new shows, gone exploring, prayed more and all kinds of other stuff instead of sitting and wasting my time on buying stuff. True I want my comfy pillows and my mattress topper because I might as well be sleeping on the floor seeing as my bed is a rock, but truthfully I think I sleep better on a hard mattress. Something I never would have tried before.
I have closets full of clothes, and yes I miss them some days, but I don't really need them. Heck, I only wore my favorites, while most of my outfits sat in the back for that one maybe special event that I would want to wear them. Like the formal dress I bought (on sale mind you but still) to go to a play with family and Corey. I have a million dresses, did I really need a new one? No, definitely not, but I wanted one so why not. I am by no way saying to not splurge on yourself. If you work hard and have your bills paid then sure buy the dress, I did, so no judgment here. It's just that I had a million other dresses I could of worn, but I wanted a new one. I had a comforter that was great, but my new one was soft and I wanted it so I got it. Guess where it is now...in a trash bag in a closet. I didn't know how much of my materials were superfluous to my needs until I was without all of them.
It is pretty crazy to think that I used to spend so much money on groceries at home, and as a whole America wastes more money on unused groceries than anything else; myself included. "Oh I need a huge jug of milk because what if I need it." Yeah, I might have one bowl of cereal and a glass of chocolate milk. I don't even like milk, so why pay for the big container when I know I won't use it. WHO KNOWS!
My vans hold a very special place in my heart. I have maybe 8 pairs in all different colors. So when coming to Thailand I had to choose one pair to bring. So I did. In almost a month and a half I have worn them once I think. Crazy. I love coke and used to spend tons of money on sodas because they make me happy, okay great, but water is so much cheaper and so much healthier, so more money in my pocket (I still splurge and get a coke sometimes though, because what is life without a cold coke or a cold beer on a hot day-so worth the splurge).
All I am saying is that I have a ton of stuff sitting back home and honestly aside from my bed, and a room that doesn't have centipedes in the shower or lizard poop on the wall, I really don't miss much. I am content with what I have. I will always keep the teddy bears, the relics/clothes/movies/8th grade love notes from boys in my past, my comfy bed and my books but really I can't imagine going back to a room full of stuff I don't need. I guess that may be growing up or getting boring, not sure which one it is, but it's pretty nice having only what I need and not everything I want.
I love my teddy bears that I have had since Seth Sawyer and Nick McGinness gave them to me as get well presents for my back surgery in 9th grade.
I love the random decorations and pictures and books that I can't get rid of.
What can I say, I am sentimental.
However, being here in Thailand has taught me a bit about material possessions. I came here with one large suitcase to get me through 5 months. I had no room decorations, no special comforter (which hurt my feelings to leave at home), no feather pillows or a million movies, and SHOCKER, I am doing just fine.
Granted, I still have internet (most days), and a book to read, but as a whole I have learned that I do not need much to have a happy life. I have learned to line dance, I work out every day, am trying new recipes, found new shows, gone exploring, prayed more and all kinds of other stuff instead of sitting and wasting my time on buying stuff. True I want my comfy pillows and my mattress topper because I might as well be sleeping on the floor seeing as my bed is a rock, but truthfully I think I sleep better on a hard mattress. Something I never would have tried before.
I have closets full of clothes, and yes I miss them some days, but I don't really need them. Heck, I only wore my favorites, while most of my outfits sat in the back for that one maybe special event that I would want to wear them. Like the formal dress I bought (on sale mind you but still) to go to a play with family and Corey. I have a million dresses, did I really need a new one? No, definitely not, but I wanted one so why not. I am by no way saying to not splurge on yourself. If you work hard and have your bills paid then sure buy the dress, I did, so no judgment here. It's just that I had a million other dresses I could of worn, but I wanted a new one. I had a comforter that was great, but my new one was soft and I wanted it so I got it. Guess where it is now...in a trash bag in a closet. I didn't know how much of my materials were superfluous to my needs until I was without all of them.
It is pretty crazy to think that I used to spend so much money on groceries at home, and as a whole America wastes more money on unused groceries than anything else; myself included. "Oh I need a huge jug of milk because what if I need it." Yeah, I might have one bowl of cereal and a glass of chocolate milk. I don't even like milk, so why pay for the big container when I know I won't use it. WHO KNOWS!
My vans hold a very special place in my heart. I have maybe 8 pairs in all different colors. So when coming to Thailand I had to choose one pair to bring. So I did. In almost a month and a half I have worn them once I think. Crazy. I love coke and used to spend tons of money on sodas because they make me happy, okay great, but water is so much cheaper and so much healthier, so more money in my pocket (I still splurge and get a coke sometimes though, because what is life without a cold coke or a cold beer on a hot day-so worth the splurge).
All I am saying is that I have a ton of stuff sitting back home and honestly aside from my bed, and a room that doesn't have centipedes in the shower or lizard poop on the wall, I really don't miss much. I am content with what I have. I will always keep the teddy bears, the relics/clothes/movies/8th grade love notes from boys in my past, my comfy bed and my books but really I can't imagine going back to a room full of stuff I don't need. I guess that may be growing up or getting boring, not sure which one it is, but it's pretty nice having only what I need and not everything I want.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Caitlyn Jenner: A Christian's response and apology
Taking a leap here because I tend to keep my faith more personal but here goes nothin'...
I have been a Christian my whole life. It is something that I take pride in. I went to a Christian school, came from a Christian home, have Christian friends and a Christian boyfriend. I wear a cross around my neck that my grandmother gave me and I have a bible verse tattooed on my skin.
However, I have a tattoo, I have non-Christian friends and gay friends and friends who say they are Christian but know nothing of a personal relationship to Christ. I have 9 piercings, 5 tattoos and have doubts about my faith all the time. So go ahead and judge away, wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last.
I say all this as to say that my Faith is very important to me, but Christianity and Christians are not perfect, far from it. I have had teachers tell me my family is going to Hell and I have had friends tell me I was the most liberal girl they knew because I have gay friends.
Whoopdy Freakin' Do.
I just read an article titled Caitlyn Jenner is Not a Hero, and while factually accurate (in terms of the definition of a hero) it is a blithe on the Christian name, and I apologize.
I will not say I agree with Caitlyn, nor do I think she deserved the award, but it has nothing to do with her transitioning into a woman. I do not think she deserved the award because I believe there are people more deserving; Lauren Hill for example. This article defined a hero as someone who put's their life above others, whose actions are not rewarded. To me this is what a hero is, some one who would sacrifice their life and happiness for the lives of others, or someone so passionate about a cause that they will take a stand not to fulfill their own desires, but to fulfill the desires of others, and this is why I do not think Caitlyn should be given this award. However, Caitlyn Jenner is a portrait of strength to the people who her lives have touched. She has done what many people in this world lie awake dreaming they had the courage to do in order to be happy, and that is truly a feat in itself. It is courageous but it is not heroic.
The real bone I have to pick is not to decide whether or not Caitlyn deserves an award. I don't care whether she does or not. However, I care about the response that people believe to be the true "Christian way."
To say that God only makes a man and a woman devoid of imperfection would also mean that God only makes healthy babies; only healthy people. Which in turn means that the Devil is creating these people that aren't healthy. I don't know about you, but a child with an extra chromosome is still a gift from Heaven if you ask me, and I dare you to say that my autistic cousin is not a gift from God, because I am willing to commit that sin by slapping you for saying that. To think that God only makes wonderful and perfect things is damning all the imperfectly perfect people and events that happen in this world, and that is tragic. So many wonderful creations (people, experiences, character traits etc) are created from things not perfect, happy or wonderful, but I guarantee you they are worth while.
To be honest, I don't care one bit over some celebrity who was once a great athlete now turned walking mat for the Kardashians...Yea not one bit of caring happening here!! I do care about the press and the abuse people are getting from so called Christians. That makes me mad, and it makes me sad. Jesus ate with prostitutes, the sick, and the thieves, and you want to bash someone simply because he decided he wanted his man parts to become woman parts. REALLY! I have had several discussions with friends who don't share the same beliefs I do and the largest hindrance to them believing in Christ are his followers. That right there is the a hard pill to swallow. When did becoming a Christian mean we get to bash other people based on Freedom of Speech? When did becoming a Christian mean that we no longer let the light of Christ poor out of us onto those in need?
Being a Christian means being a follower of Christ. It means loving people like Jesus loved, which, in case you missed Sunday school, Jesus loved us so much that he died for us. That is a lot of love folks. BUT BUT BUT we don't care about how he loved right?? No, we only care about making sure people know it's against Christian doctrines for a man to want to wear a dress.
Get over yourself.
I am so sorry that many Christians think it is okay to play the role of God and decide to publicly humiliate and damn people. When you die on the cross, turn water into wine, or love people so strongly that it radiates for centuries and centuries then you can come talk to me. Until then, why don't we as Christians worry about praying for Caitlyn to have a happy life? Why don't we pray that our next president is a man of faith and courage? Why don't we pray that we find a solution to the thousands of children dying in Africa because it won't rain? Those all seem like more important things to worry about than a person on the cover of a magazine. The Church and the body of Christ is called to love your neighbor, to support the weak and the innocent, to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to give shelter to the homeless (Matthew 25:35-40). Don't you think that is more important? I do.
I am so sorry that many Christians spend more time discussing the small things like what to wear or not wear instead of discussing how to love people better. I'm sorry that you think being a Christian means degrading a person.
I am sorry that you are so worried about playing God that you forget to love people like God does.
Stop worrying over who is wearing a dress or not and start loving people for who they are. Let God decide what is right or wrong, and let us Christians make sure we are not a hindrance to others coming to know what real love is. Whether you believe Bruce/Caitlyn is right or wrong, who cares. All you need to believe is that God loves him/her so you should love him/her.
PS loving someone from a distance is okay. It is possible to show someone love and not agree with their beliefs or lifestyles. It is okay to show someone love and not want to be best friends with someone. Trust me there are many people who I do not agree with, people that have hurt me or hurt the people I care about that I would never willing choose to be best friends with, but that does not mean I do not love them as a human being with real feelings.
I have been a Christian my whole life. It is something that I take pride in. I went to a Christian school, came from a Christian home, have Christian friends and a Christian boyfriend. I wear a cross around my neck that my grandmother gave me and I have a bible verse tattooed on my skin.
However, I have a tattoo, I have non-Christian friends and gay friends and friends who say they are Christian but know nothing of a personal relationship to Christ. I have 9 piercings, 5 tattoos and have doubts about my faith all the time. So go ahead and judge away, wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last.
I say all this as to say that my Faith is very important to me, but Christianity and Christians are not perfect, far from it. I have had teachers tell me my family is going to Hell and I have had friends tell me I was the most liberal girl they knew because I have gay friends.
Whoopdy Freakin' Do.
I just read an article titled Caitlyn Jenner is Not a Hero, and while factually accurate (in terms of the definition of a hero) it is a blithe on the Christian name, and I apologize.
I will not say I agree with Caitlyn, nor do I think she deserved the award, but it has nothing to do with her transitioning into a woman. I do not think she deserved the award because I believe there are people more deserving; Lauren Hill for example. This article defined a hero as someone who put's their life above others, whose actions are not rewarded. To me this is what a hero is, some one who would sacrifice their life and happiness for the lives of others, or someone so passionate about a cause that they will take a stand not to fulfill their own desires, but to fulfill the desires of others, and this is why I do not think Caitlyn should be given this award. However, Caitlyn Jenner is a portrait of strength to the people who her lives have touched. She has done what many people in this world lie awake dreaming they had the courage to do in order to be happy, and that is truly a feat in itself. It is courageous but it is not heroic.
The real bone I have to pick is not to decide whether or not Caitlyn deserves an award. I don't care whether she does or not. However, I care about the response that people believe to be the true "Christian way."
To say that God only makes a man and a woman devoid of imperfection would also mean that God only makes healthy babies; only healthy people. Which in turn means that the Devil is creating these people that aren't healthy. I don't know about you, but a child with an extra chromosome is still a gift from Heaven if you ask me, and I dare you to say that my autistic cousin is not a gift from God, because I am willing to commit that sin by slapping you for saying that. To think that God only makes wonderful and perfect things is damning all the imperfectly perfect people and events that happen in this world, and that is tragic. So many wonderful creations (people, experiences, character traits etc) are created from things not perfect, happy or wonderful, but I guarantee you they are worth while.
To be honest, I don't care one bit over some celebrity who was once a great athlete now turned walking mat for the Kardashians...Yea not one bit of caring happening here!! I do care about the press and the abuse people are getting from so called Christians. That makes me mad, and it makes me sad. Jesus ate with prostitutes, the sick, and the thieves, and you want to bash someone simply because he decided he wanted his man parts to become woman parts. REALLY! I have had several discussions with friends who don't share the same beliefs I do and the largest hindrance to them believing in Christ are his followers. That right there is the a hard pill to swallow. When did becoming a Christian mean we get to bash other people based on Freedom of Speech? When did becoming a Christian mean that we no longer let the light of Christ poor out of us onto those in need?
Being a Christian means being a follower of Christ. It means loving people like Jesus loved, which, in case you missed Sunday school, Jesus loved us so much that he died for us. That is a lot of love folks. BUT BUT BUT we don't care about how he loved right?? No, we only care about making sure people know it's against Christian doctrines for a man to want to wear a dress.
Get over yourself.
I am so sorry that many Christians think it is okay to play the role of God and decide to publicly humiliate and damn people. When you die on the cross, turn water into wine, or love people so strongly that it radiates for centuries and centuries then you can come talk to me. Until then, why don't we as Christians worry about praying for Caitlyn to have a happy life? Why don't we pray that our next president is a man of faith and courage? Why don't we pray that we find a solution to the thousands of children dying in Africa because it won't rain? Those all seem like more important things to worry about than a person on the cover of a magazine. The Church and the body of Christ is called to love your neighbor, to support the weak and the innocent, to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to give shelter to the homeless (Matthew 25:35-40). Don't you think that is more important? I do.
I am so sorry that many Christians spend more time discussing the small things like what to wear or not wear instead of discussing how to love people better. I'm sorry that you think being a Christian means degrading a person.
I am sorry that you are so worried about playing God that you forget to love people like God does.
Stop worrying over who is wearing a dress or not and start loving people for who they are. Let God decide what is right or wrong, and let us Christians make sure we are not a hindrance to others coming to know what real love is. Whether you believe Bruce/Caitlyn is right or wrong, who cares. All you need to believe is that God loves him/her so you should love him/her.
PS loving someone from a distance is okay. It is possible to show someone love and not agree with their beliefs or lifestyles. It is okay to show someone love and not want to be best friends with someone. Trust me there are many people who I do not agree with, people that have hurt me or hurt the people I care about that I would never willing choose to be best friends with, but that does not mean I do not love them as a human being with real feelings.
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